avant barf

gareth pugh always knows what men want to wear right now:

BECAUSE I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO LOOK LIKE AN EXTRA FROM 'THE CROW'/ MOTHER OF THE BRIDE.

it's going to look SO CHIC at si0uxi3's wedding with DEAD, WILTED BABY'S BREATH IN MY KICKY UP-DO.

also, LOVE the styling with the girl's volleyball head wrap.

so in sum, gareth has presented a perfect look for today's man: sporty lesbionic nosferatu mother of the bride of frankenstein. perfect business casual.

it's already in me

guys, remember that "keep on truckin'"-in-front, cristobal-in-back jacket chrissy did for CRHEE's spring 2010 line? the one that i thought was so so so so cramazingulous?

this one?

oh yeah, well, so it comes in black. and chrissy let me wear it to the chalet one night (it was so weird, henrik viskbov was djing? BIZARRE). say hello to how i want to look for the rest of my life:

i mean, COME ON!! sorry for the poor quality pictures, but maybe it's just that my shitty cameraphone got overwhelmed by the sheer DREAMJACKETOCITY of the moment.

now one caveats about these pictures. (1) the jacket was made for a sample size, a LADY's sample size, so if it looks like my shoulders are bustin' out of it, it's because they are (would you believe i'm built like a line-backer?). when it actually gets made, i guess i'll size up. i was walking around with my shoulders hunched upwards courture-style all night, which, while very vogue hommes japan, didn't work when i was trying to do sexy asian body rolls to swedish rave music (someone at some point dropped a dance remix of 'i wanna be adored' (maybe this one?) and i dropped dead). (2) this is pre-production so i think the poof might get more exaggerated WHICH WOULD BE SO GOOD.

how good is it, though? i like how it is kind of haute (reverse) hunchback, or looks like some kind of avant tumor. ugh, CANNOT WAIT TO WEAR THE SHIT OUT OF THIS JACKET.

down down baby

i bet it's so much easier when your band consists of cute boys with of-the-moment hair cuts. case in point, the drums - let's go surfing:


the song is catchy enough (the lyrics are a little dumb, and not good simple dumb, but kinda just dumb dumb?), but i wouldn't have watched the video all the way through if i didn't think there was a chance that i would see one or both of them take their shirts off and maybe rassle on the sand. god, my life is full of teases.

cheap and blegh

these moschino cheap and chic s/s 2010 daisy sunglasses:

immediately reminded me of this:

uncanny, really.

Dame Me

i got my haircut on Saturday and since i get my hair cut at a place run by stinkin' japs, they always have the best japanese fashion magazine. as much as i should have a problem reading something called "Men's Non-no" that does not feature these:

(false advertising!), it's always good b/c they're so much better than american fash magazines. also, they're almost entirely consumption-oriented. it's not like arena homme or something where it's trying to have fresh takes on clothes. it's like lucky magazine for clothing fetishists. ANYWAYS, i spotted these AMAZING number (N)ine kurt cobain FOLDABLE sunglasses:

SO GOOD, right? so good, in fact, that they inspired me to try on a leopard coat when i went to my friend lisa's store, circa now:

i was going for this:

but ended up more like this:

i would hunt down those sunglasses but i think they work better on willow-y heroin addicted tortured geniuses than slightly beefy gaysians. i probably need to gain the ability to grow stubble in order for the masc/femme contrast to work correctly.

also, ps. men's japanese fashion mags? what's up with you putting every other dude in leopard pants or leopard cardigan for fall? is this the new thing, post-chloe for opening ceremony men's leopard print? not sure i can get on board.

ancient sadness left me tired and doubting

ugh, is this not the most quintessentially 90s portland music video you've ever seen?


sunflower against unnaturally blue sky, porch, old couches, weird t-shirts, interpretive jerky dancing. YESSSSS. i used to LOVE hazel and i don't know how i never put it together that it's the same womyn from team dresch who i also used to love but at a different point in time?

ps. my sister used to love team dresch as well and she wasn't even a lesbian! what non-lesbian likes team dresch?? THIS GUY!!

pps. fave team dresch song here.

been holding out for indian summer

but it doesn't look like it'll happen. at least we have this:


also, this version is messed up, but the good one wouldn't let me embed. here you go, for good measure:

things i would wear if i didn't think transgendered people were so gross: alexander calder dress

omg, can we talk about how i would split half my dickhead into vagina nerves and a clit so i could wear this dress?

s/s 2010 marc jacobs. (2010! 2010!)

ugh, SO GOOD. i want to wear a dress that looks like alexander calder welded/jizzed some wire to/on my gossamer covered body!

GORGE. so basically what i'm saying is the next time you see me, cut off my balls and throw some molten metal on me. THX.

three holes are better than two

i was just telling my friend peter how i really really wanted a high-cut, short 3-button blazer and how i thought it was going to be the new short two-button blazer. luckily band of outsiders just did the perfect one for spring.

it's cool and it's different and it has three buttons without looking like something an original king of comedy would wear:

i wish i had a gilded rococo frame of a flaccid dick to put that picture into.

anywho, the three holes reminds me of my favorite motto: "fist in the pink, fist in the stink. (fist in the mouth for good measure)." if only the BoO jacket wasn't going to cost $1200+ (i'm guessing). maybe zara will knock it off.

the hurrider i go, the behinder i get

wall cleaning out my office, i found another one of my most prized possessions ever that i totally forgot about (this couldn't POSSIBLY mean that i have too much stuff). pin with weird amish saying in "i like ike" font:

it's folksy, JUST LIKE ME.

RSVP@WetSealPR.info

FASHION'S NIGHT OUT, GUYS!!


see you at the Merry-Go-Round/Boone's Farm presents Danity Kane show!!

the pooh of tao part II

ok, i thought putting the Tao on Irina was bad enough, but this is just egregious:

model agent: "I GOT IT! i'll make EVERY chink look like Tao cuz she's SO HOT RIGHT NOW!" god, this is worse than the blunt-cut-bang-ocaust of 2006-08.

CRHEE Spring 2010

a couple weeks ago, i got to work with some of my favorite people on this earth (andrew defrancesco and kat clements) on one of my favorite people on this earth's Spring 2010 lookbook for her line CRHEE. i had to keeps it under wraps until it was done, but now i'm so psyched i waited cuz it's so so so soooo good. i didn't really do much of anything (aside from provide the apartment and a box of cinnamon toast crunch) but i'm so glad i got to witness it come together. plus: LOOK HOW GOOD MY APARTMENT LOOKS (in addition to, obvs, how great chrissy's clothes look).

here are some of my very fave looks from the lookbook:

but probably my absolute favorite images from the shoot is this one (it has a kind of jackie joyner kersee in the budoir on her way to studio 54 vibe to it):

how fuckin AMAZENHEIMER is that?

after chrissy told me about her inspiration (think eyes of laura mars, think guy bourdin images for charles jourdan, etc.), all i could think of is how i could totally see diana ross in mahogany in all of these at different points in her day:

answering her door in the morning to grab the newspaper:

at the office, working at an architect's table on her designs:

out to a late supper:

attending a black tie event hosted by bianca jagger:

and finally (and this next one might be my absolute absolute single favorite piece of the collection): diana ross going to help volunteer at the chicago community garden.

and...wait for it...

wait for it...

UMMMMMMM....ARE YOU OR ARE YOU NOT TOTALLY OBLITERATED BY THE BUBBLE JEAN JACKET?! levi's in front, balenciaga in back. i tried it on, and i actually MIGHT have to order it in my size when it comes in. it's too good for me not to own. i'm hoping it comes in black but i will take it in whatever color that makes it into production.

in addition to these FANTASTIC images for the lookbook, we shot a bunch of more editorial shots including one that guest stars yours, anonymously:

how fuckin' psyched are you guys on this?! ugh, it's all SOOOOO GOOD, i can't even believe that i was a part of it. seriously, this made my year.

ps. i kind of look like a hefer compared to this gorgeous model, no?

pps. did you notice the appearance of a certain CURLING IRON SHOE???? chrissy bought them for the shoot and they look SOOOOO good.

ppps. how great is the makeup joy fennell did?

the pooh of tao

dear casting agents,

you do realize you DON'T have to give the Tao Okamoto to E'ERYONE, right?


NOT NECESSARY. and way too late. mega snoozemare.

oh so no-no

since summer is almost over and it's going to get cool soon, i did what any sensible person would do: make a slutty tank top out of a t-shirt.

i got this fake chanel t-shirt from the thrift store a couple years ago but never really wore it b/c it was too big to fit nicely and too small to wear avant-big. i thought about just taking it to the tailor and having it shrunk down to size, but ehhhh...i don't really give a shit enough about chanel to pay money for it.* anyways, i did what any sensible person would do: cut really really really huge trampy arm holes out of it so i could wear it as a muscle shirt (if i had any muscles):

i'm gonna give you guys so much SIDE MOOB! i was thinking about cutting the neck so it's like a real tank-top but haven't pulled the trigger yet. right now i just pulled down the neck as much as possible. i kind of like it this way but i could also see liking it more like a singlet. thoughts?

*i really could give less than a shit about chanel. i don't really like the tropes that der kaiser is stuck with so it's not that interesting to watch him do variations on the chanel classics. actually, i might just not like karl lagerfeld as a designer (now, maybe when he was designing for chloe or something). his namesake collection always looks cheap, fendi (usually, with some exceptions) looks euro-trash, and chanel is just boring to me. is that sacreligious? i also could give less than a shit about anna wintour

how do we manage?

ok, while looking for video clips of avenging vigilante teen prostitute school girls, i stumbled across THIS gem, which is, perhaps, the most amazing opening sequence to a tv show you or i have ever seen. i present to you "partners in crime" starring loni anderson and lynda carter.


so many wacky misadventures!! please, PLEASE pay particularly close attention to when wonder woman mouths/stage whispers to jennifer marlowe, "GET DOWN" at 0:48. i think i will start pantomiming "GET DOWN" everytime i go anywhere. AMAZING.

EDIT: just had to include this:

we should all aspire to be teen prostitute vigilante school girls

i was going to try and make a case for girls dressing like school girls by day and vengeful prostitutes by night, but really i just wanted to post these apropos of nothing:



my new favorite hooker with a heart of gold (and brain of platinum and cock of adamantium) reminded me of it.

i think i like the sheena E lookalike better.