Wednesday, April 30, 2008

totally into this final fantasy and ed droste cover of "possibly maybe." it reminds me of when you were 17 and thought that bjork was the most important artist alive b/c SHE DID WHAT SHE WANTED TO DO and she wore BERNHARD WILHELM AND THINGS YOU COULD ONLY BUY AT SEVEN NEW YORK before people were on that tip and when you used to try and imagine her and matthew barney fucking in ectoplasmic goop on top of the chrysler building. also, i love ed droste and his big gay nose. yo soy has a crush on you. please appear shirtless more often.

sales s/s 2008

dudes, i've been swamped with work (the LAW NEVER STOPS), but it's coming up on that time. everything will be 40% off and downwards in a couple weeks, so time to start contemplating which pieces i'll be looking out for. i haven't been as vigilant as i have in the past about what stores bought what, but here's what i'd like:



balenc shorts and tiny jacket(not too crazy about the balenc men's gladiator open-toed sandals)


dries shirt


jil shorts


i saw the full length version of these jeans at den the other day but i'm afraid that the second i buy them, AA will come out with flourescent highlighter slim slacks and i'll be pissed i paid that much money for them.




all men.style.com

wtfendi?! it's actually really good in that luxe patrik ervell lite kinda way. those shorts in the 2nd one are fairly amazing and i would wear that entire first look. the pants in the third one are totally totally totally good even if they are kinda a prada gabardine stirup pant rip off. this is from the same house who brought us these:

which i had described to a friend as looking like the kind of shoes a vietnamese stripper would buy from the 99 cent store after having just tricked her way into america and then propped up on a retarded kitten heel. who the fuck even sell's fendi men's?! i will actually be actively looking now.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

where's poliopoliopolio?

photo courtesy of the ridiculously awesome louise.
party was rad, company was TOTALLY RAD w/besos y fotos, the enthusiast, white lightning, beverly in her insane dries van notens, and brendan, mercedez, and other peeps i'm forgetting making it totally awesome. and of course our beautiful, gracious host dave black. dude this thing is starting to sound more like a blogroll than a party, but it was totally totally fun. i didn't really take many pictures so umm whatever. then i worked all weekend and did some spring cleaning. jealous??

OH, ps. while doing spring cleaning, i was clearing stuff off this easy chair i dump all my stuff on when i get home and realized that the following stuff had accumulated on the chair: a rumpled tuxedo and cummerbund, a fluorescent windbreaker crop-top, black jockstrap, the autobiography of alice b toklas, and this backpack that carmelle gave me years ago:

Friday, April 25, 2008

TONITE TONITE: DBLACK'S




i'll be there in a flourescent crop top. WILL YOU?
dudes, my new favorite thing in the world:


thanks, trevor!

Thursday, April 24, 2008


i believe that the james spader is the last remaining haircut for dudes our age to co-opt and rock as a means of subversion. we've done the 50's barber shop quarter thing, the pompadour, the morrissey pompadour, the lief erickson, but i think this has been left relatively untouched. i mean, i guess the dude from vampire weekend comes close:

but his is really more like a quasi-jake ryan.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

dudes, i bought new checks:

april77 + cheap monday sample sale today:


not much BoO stuff, but i picked up a couple of shirts. no suiting whatsoever. all the april 77 stuff was $77. mostly colordives and other jeans-type things. some clothing. i got this wham! looking blazer:


frankie says "STUDY HARD FOR YOUR SATs." lots and lots of leftover cheap monday stuff. like $10 cords and lots and lots of $10 denim if you're into that. didn't peep the girl-y stuff but it looked like there were lots of things to cover your vaginas. i'd check it out if you're in the area, but probably not worth going out of your way for.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

ok, so just to let you guys know, the only reality show worth watching (esp. if you only have fake cable like i do and only get lifetime movie network, bravo, and food network) is ace of cakes on the foodnetwork.

it is so much better than all the bullshit bravo reality competitions for so many reasons. first of all, the entire cast consists of people who totally didn't want to be on a reality show at all so they actually aren't the worst people on earth. AND they're all fuckin art school grads (prob. MICA, obvs) who play in bands in baltimore and not some kinda douchebags who think they can rip off some doo.ri t-shirt dresses and be called designers. it's like the kids you knew when you went to college in a small town and you were surrounded by douchebags but had like some kind of insular island of people you didn't hate so much and you guys all made out with each other and some of the cattier girls would make rumors up about each other, but whatevs, you were a dude and it didn't really matter anyways and seeing them on tv always warms me heart with recognition. oh, also, they're all so obviously stoned all the time. i'm sure they run in similar circles with paperrad. anyways, where the fuck can you see art school kids on national tv not being totally obnoxiously art school?

second of all, they're all totally ridiculously talented, which is what used to be what endeared project runway/top chef to me (except the people on those shows all just make me want to vom with boredom). they basically are doing 3d design projects where they make simulacra of everyday objects but made out of cake but whatever it's retarded awesome. look at this shit!




finally, it has this dude on it:


ok, normally, you see this dude on the L train or whatever and you're like, what an asshole, you probably listen to japanther. but the fact he's on fuckin the foodnetwork, the station of douchebags like bobby flay and emeril and retarded fuckdolls like giada dilaurentis and sandra lee, is like fuckin revelation. it makes him almost swoonable. also, all the girls on the show have bangs, the receptionist is totally ex-rockabilly and rocks betty page bangs, there's a cute half-asian girl, and i dunno, WTF?! the fact that you are seeing these people on tv continues to blow my mind. ANYWAYZ dudes, you should totally start watching it. NOW.

Monday, April 21, 2008

i went to adam's sister's place for passover this weekend and we went yardsaling and to the thrift store. i don't know if it's because i haven't been to a real thrift store since i moved back to the city or if it's b/c i've been listening to a lot of MGMT, but i ended up buying this:


it's totally tri-color separation colors and a crop top and totally fuckin ridiculous, BUT...is there a but? i know that fashionista declared crop tops HOT right now, but let's call a spade a spade a retard. fashionista is a retard. anyways, i feel like it might reek of 15 year old who first discovers thrift stores and buys t-shirts that say "camp ticonderoga is a joy to behold! campfires!" and thinks, 'THAT'S SO FUCKIN AWESOME! B/C I'VE NEVER BEEN TO CAMP TICONDEROGA BEFORE!!!!' i'm thinking about just handing it over to someone for whom crop tops is appropriate, like:

football twinks


lara croft


this asshole:


i dunno, guys. redeeming or not at all?

oh! i forgot, the real thrift score: a contrology (pre-pilates pilates) book from the 70s featuring murphy brown in a leotard:

Saturday, April 19, 2008

from the archives:


remember when i used to shop (more) at the dollar store on broadway?

Friday, April 18, 2008

denise huxtable is gonna be so pissed at you, raven simone's character on the cosby show.


hahaha, you guys have to register under megan's law now. i wonder if her dad bought her that jeremy scott skirt.

word up:

for the 2 NY fashion dudes who read this, bblessing sale today was pretty good. some nice raf pieces (including some perfecto variations) but still only at about the 50% off mark. nothing really grabbed me so i just walked away with a rag & bone contrast-collar hidden placket button down (biz cas steez) and a bblessing t ($25).
ALSO, if i weren't going out of town tomorrow for passover, i would TOTALLY go to this:


totally wish i could go but seder calls.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

gay shame thursday: bags

this week's topic for gay shame thursdays (wherein i talk about things that regular gay dudes like that i also like which in turn brings me great shame and suicidal tendencies): bags. first off, i refuse to call them man-bags or murses or european carry alls because that is some lame-ass will and grace type humor right there. WILL AND GRACE IS FAG MINSTRELISM! HATE CRIME! HATE CRIME! (look, a will and grace joke that didn't involve a pun).

i fuckin' love a bag. it started in high school when i really really wanted a satchel b/c all the douchebags had northface hiking bags (and the poor douchebags had jansport bags (and the really really poor kids had eastpak bags (as compared to now where only the richest of rich japanese avant streetwear kids wear raf simons x eastpak, but i digress)). also, at that point i was really into c86 indie pop shit and all the kids of detroit's burgeoning "secret international pop society" who i would see at the record stores talking about momus b-sides had them so, obvs, i had to have one, so i could look like a 35 year old dude with a combover and a perma-press denim jacket b/c that shit was sooo hot in '96.

but then, but two years later, we were smack-dab in the middle of prada-sport/miu miu/helmut lang utilitarianism rip-stop draw-string balloon looking faux-ergonomic fever and i had to have some kinda gray nylon thing with lots of exterior pockets that wrapped around my body and was totally useless. i was secretly jealous of the knock-off prada triangle body bag that my friend joyce had gotten at club monaco in toronto (before club monaco had come to the states and was still really exotic and awesome). it looked like a black, nylon sari and i was totally enamored. (i'm trying to find a picture of it online but am totally vexed). i think banana republic ended up ripping it off a couple months later and then every girl everywhere had one and i didn't want one anymore.

then, when i moved to new york for college in 2000 and "discovered myself" i saw all the cool dudes carrying around canvas totes so i went to the crafts store in queens and emblazoned a canvas bag with iron-on letters spelling out my nickname i had given myself (which then ended up being the only thing anyone ever knew me as for the next 4-6 years and which people mistook for my REAL NAME b/c people are idiots and b/c everyone thought, 'only a real asshole would put his self-given nickname on a bag he carries everywhere'). after that, everytime i'd go home, i'd go to the thrift store and come back with some ridiculous variation on a tote or old samsonite 60s bright-colored luggage or a special olympics gym bag (pre-AA).

when i moved back home for claw school, i was generally over bags for a while, but now that i've moved back i'm kinda obsessed again. i have about three bags in regular rotation: a white leather and canvas over-sized duffel/gym bag that i got at an acne sample sale, a really sweet beat-up leather IRA-style doctor's bag that someone left in adam's lobby on the free table, and my work bag, a relic from me alma mater:


because i'm a lawyer and should look totally professional at all times, right? anyways, i could talk about bags for DAYS, and for the most part, i'm cool with lots and lots of different kinds of bags gays like (the leather terrorist weekender, messenger bags, AA gym bags (for that butt magazine, queer art loving asshole)), but THIS kind fo bag bag i am NOT down with. this bag is a plague on homosexual men. it is basically bag aids:


only the shittiest of the shitty chelsea gay dudes carry these. but THEY ALL CARRY THEM. why a bowling bag?! i know you are not carrying your hello-kitty bowling ball to bowl-mor for lychetinis with the "boiz." you are carrying around your aviators, a von-dutch hat, the new issue of the h|x, a tube of astro-glide, and an extra pair of camo cargo shorts in case the ones you're wearing get soiled at the backroom of URGE tonight. ugh, and when you wear them on your sleeveless shoulder with your muscle-milk enhanced arms YOU LOOK LIKE A LADY AMERICAN GLADIATOR out on the town. you are basically SIREN on her way out the stage door to her jeep cherokee to go speak at a deaf lesbian convention at an airport holiday inn with a bunch of brochures on living with deaf lesbianism. basically: i hate you and your stupid bag. hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE. anyways...that's it for now! K.I.T.!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

aloha rag in NEW YORK is open!

i feel like that gag in the flinstones where wilma and betty get their husbands' respective credit cards (those mischievous minx!) and yell CHARGE! b/c i'm a woman and WOMEN BE SHOPPIN!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

things i would wear if i didn't think transgendered people were so gross: gap designs edition

the gap x cfda x white poplin capsule collection just dropped today. most of it looks retarded. i'm particularly disappointed in the band of outsiders shirt:

really dudes? that's the best you could do? you must have been having a chico's kind of day, b/c that looks like something a short white-haired old lady who does yoga and owns drawers full of turquoise jewelry would wear. basically, you've created a shirt for the mom from suddenly susan:


there are two i would actually wear if i could stomach the idea of cross dressing (which i can't because it is so vomitous):


phillip lim

but even these are kinda mega-boring and marginal and a little expensive. oh, and even though it doesn't suck, i could never wear the threeasfour dress b/c, well, i mean, i understand that there are these CRAZY SHAPES called CIRCLES and that it's really INTERESTING to make three-dimensional shapes out of TWO-DIMENSIONAL CIRCLES, and also, there are forms called PETALS and they come from things called FLOWERS but when you put them in CLOTHING, it makes them EDGY, but. well, there is no but, i hate ass four.

ugh, the jewelry is even worse:


oh, phillip crangi, i see you walked two blocks outside your studio in the garment district to the ribbons/trims/necklaces district and just bought rolls of mini-blind beads and then walked next door to the hardware store to pick up some gold spraypaint and bolts. GENIUS! so worth the $45. i would even rather wear some retarded "i took a bunch of crappy costume jewelry from the chelsea flea market and some pliers and made these awesome multi-chain assemblages! they're so excessive! they're subversive b/c there are a lot of them!" from justina guinta then this crap. (actually there's one bracelet in the collection that i might get. still seems overpriced).

gap, you did me wrong. after you did SO MUCH RIGHT with the pierre hardy shoes that came out. and speaking of that, where the fuck are the pierre hardy desert boots that were supposed to come out for gap men's, assholes??

speaking of men, on a side note:



michael bastian, i know that your whole thing is to take whatever gays would pick out at abercrombie and fitch/the international male catalog (or for poor rural gays aeropostale/american eagle/hollister) and do them in "luxe" materials and put "interesting" details where nobody can see them (royal purple stitching! cashmere flannel lining the jeans!), but when you're doing something for the masses and you have to stick with shitty materials and tiny chinamen doing the sewing, your shtick doesn't really fly. this shit looks like something i would find at a garage sale alongside a christina aguilera boxset, a rainbow whip-stitched leather cockring, a wicker cowboy hat, a box of used sarongs from ibiza, and some old maria callas posters. it looks like pooh. blegh. i wish band of outsiders had been responsible for the men's stuff.

Monday, April 14, 2008

as covered extensively here and here and here, we had a regular blog-ring circle jerk on saturday night. also, it was totally the smartest idea to drink a bottle of maker's mark after having a couple drinks at mama's. ACK! anyways, i don't even have energy to describe it because i think i'm dying of ebola or something except that it was super funs in a ridiculous loft and i made new bff's forever for life til eternity. here's shit i dumped off my camera:

pairs:

besos y fotos y david


white lightning and white chocolate


half black and gold

and mercedez broke out the cootie catcher (fortune teller for those not from the midwest) action:



i don't remember what my fortune was but i think it had something to do with blackalicious? or herpes. or something. whatever it was, it rang so very true that it shook me to my core and made me shudder in recognition. ACK!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

this is my life every day:


edit:
probably because i sometimes leave the house dressed like this:

Friday, April 11, 2008

dear madonna,



i know you're about 63 years old at this point, but you have a whole team of young, lithe, SUPERFABFRESH choreographers and brand coordinators to tell you what's "in" (misshapes! M.I.A.! those stoners who directed that new bjork video that debuted at deitch projects! leotards! hedi slimane!) and what's not (ugg boots! leggings! electroclash! juicy couture! scientology!) so you can co-opt year+ old phenomena and pretend that you're still relevant. so it is very hard for me to believe that they could not prevent you from doing the double finger guns in the middle of your new video with OF THE MINUTE PRODUCER TIMBALAND (of the minute, maybe, when aaliyah was still married to r. kelly in 1996) and JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE.

i mean, were you just "free-stylin" for a couple counts and the director told you to "go with it! do what feels right!"? is it supposed to be a moment of irony in an otherwise completely straight-forward and boring video to SHOCK the viewers from their sleepiness and complicitness in perpetuating your delusion that you are not eligible for discounted movie tickets at the angelika? maybe. but i have to be straight with you. you look like this:





i really don't know what you're going for with this, but i do know that i L'O'L'd on the treadmill this morning and almost twisted my ankle. the only thing that made it alright was that somehow the next video they played somehow out-fagged yours. george michael is some kind of GAYNIUS!

xoxo,

hard liquor, soft holes

ps. i liked you better when you just did whatever bjork did a couple months later.