Wednesday, August 13, 2008

i dont wanna wait, for the fug girls' lives to be over

ok, so everyone's been talking about katie holmes' "boyfriend jeans" and everyone is basically retarded. everyone's like, 'oh, her style's gone so downhill. she's in a shame spiral. she's not joey potter anymore.' for instance, the fug 'girls'. (sidenote 1: oh man, i hate them so much. if they had their way, everyone would come dressed like this:

now, don't get me wrong. i think kelly rowlands looks good. but that shit is fuckin some jessica mcclintock, junior formal type BORING ASS SHIT that your mom buys for you at Cache when you really wanted to buy some betsey johnson dress from nordstrom's brass plum. sure, the color is pretty good, but SNOOZE. wouldn't you rather see people in THIS?

but, NO, that "looks like an oil slick. it looks like something donna martin might fingerpaint because she's dyslexic (they love a retarded 90210 related nonsequitur). it's not CLASSY (i.e. not one color). [some other retarded non-insight.]" and we are supposed to be listening to criticism from THESE TWO?

the one on the left looks like she used to go to the salon and ask for "the rachel." and the one on the right still gets "the monica (first season)." their favorite designer is michael kors/bcbg max azria. and not that i have anything against michael kors but i mean, he does a fuckin safari collection every 5 seasons like clockwork. LUXURIOUS SPORTSWEAR IS RETARDED. (side-sidenote: although, i am FASCINATED with his life in the late 70s going to studio 54. he must have been really good looking to have broken into fashion. like rent-boy/fran lebowitz 'notes on trick' good-looking).)

ANYWAYS i think k.holme's jeans are totally rad. i mean, esp. because she's only 29 fuckin' years old. who cares that it's a "younger" look? i know 34 year olds who dress like what mayim bialik dressed like when she was 12 (mini-sidenote: did you guys know that blossom russo was getting her phd in neuroscience?! bonkers! also, remember the unpublished issue of sassy that had her article in it. i have way too much time on my hands). AND she isn't going to a movie premiere, she's walking around on the street. do you expect her to wear a holly go-lightly dress (which is what i think the fug girls imagine as the ONLY APPROPRIATE THING TO WEAR AT ANY POINT IN TIME) everywhere she goes?

and, whatever, they totally look good right now. after seeing skinny skinny skinny STOMP all over my head, these just LOOK RIGHT. jane thinks so, too. if it weren't so hot out, i'd wear THIS all the time:

so anyways, katie holmes, keep on doin' what you doin' (or rather, keep on doin' what your stylist tells you what to doin'). and don't let girls who love the simplicity of ann taylor loft get you down.


gnarlitude jen said...

um, yeah, best post ever.

izzydore said...

that was hilarious! but indeed, you spoke the truth.

jane said...

KATIE LOOKS GREAT i loved when she wore them with the Rogier Vivier shoes!!
yah i thought gofugyourself was hilarious
for like 30 minutes in eighth grade

your jeans are soo shredded, i love them

(im totally wearing those jeans right now!!)

besos y fotos: the virtual sketchbook said...

you right, you right.
but really, i have to say, you look too much better.

can't wait to see you in the fall, rocking this anorak edition.

brendan donnelly said...

tom cruise is wearing girlfriend jeans

brendan donnelly said...

please steve, for me, grow you hair out super long and go to a hair salon and ask for "the rachel"..i'll ask for "the monica"

wanna go as "romey and michelle" for halloween with me?

hard liquor; soft holes said...

all: right? don't we all hate them. i'm glad i'm not alone.

jane: i've said it before, and i'll say it again. your jeans are totally awesome.

louise: we'll see each other before fall, darls.

brendan: i'm down for romy and michele. i wanna be mira sorvino, though. elizabeth can be alan cummings or j. garafalo.

elizabeth said...


they are so BORING, its like, get a GRIP LADIEZ.jesus. they ef want everyone to be a snoozy instyle cover.

meanwhile, teh rolled baggy jeans thing is the coolest KH has ever looked in her life.

i want suri in a pair STAT. (maddox's old osh kosh b'goshs. they WILL be bf/gf, no? or maybe kingston rossdale?)

ps, if i used the space in my brain where i store celeb baby names for something important i would proabaly be rich. sigh.

elizabeth said...

i will be J Garofs, obvs.

Julie said...

Hil-harious! Those fuggers are driving me fuggin crazy all fuggin day because they are so fuggin boring.

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