Tuesday, April 15, 2008

things i would wear if i didn't think transgendered people were so gross: gap designs edition

the gap x cfda x white poplin capsule collection just dropped today. most of it looks retarded. i'm particularly disappointed in the band of outsiders shirt:

really dudes? that's the best you could do? you must have been having a chico's kind of day, b/c that looks like something a short white-haired old lady who does yoga and owns drawers full of turquoise jewelry would wear. basically, you've created a shirt for the mom from suddenly susan:

there are two i would actually wear if i could stomach the idea of cross dressing (which i can't because it is so vomitous):

phillip lim

but even these are kinda mega-boring and marginal and a little expensive. oh, and even though it doesn't suck, i could never wear the threeasfour dress b/c, well, i mean, i understand that there are these CRAZY SHAPES called CIRCLES and that it's really INTERESTING to make three-dimensional shapes out of TWO-DIMENSIONAL CIRCLES, and also, there are forms called PETALS and they come from things called FLOWERS but when you put them in CLOTHING, it makes them EDGY, but. well, there is no but, i hate ass four.

ugh, the jewelry is even worse:

oh, phillip crangi, i see you walked two blocks outside your studio in the garment district to the ribbons/trims/necklaces district and just bought rolls of mini-blind beads and then walked next door to the hardware store to pick up some gold spraypaint and bolts. GENIUS! so worth the $45. i would even rather wear some retarded "i took a bunch of crappy costume jewelry from the chelsea flea market and some pliers and made these awesome multi-chain assemblages! they're so excessive! they're subversive b/c there are a lot of them!" from justina guinta then this crap. (actually there's one bracelet in the collection that i might get. still seems overpriced).

gap, you did me wrong. after you did SO MUCH RIGHT with the pierre hardy shoes that came out. and speaking of that, where the fuck are the pierre hardy desert boots that were supposed to come out for gap men's, assholes??

speaking of men, on a side note:

michael bastian, i know that your whole thing is to take whatever gays would pick out at abercrombie and fitch/the international male catalog (or for poor rural gays aeropostale/american eagle/hollister) and do them in "luxe" materials and put "interesting" details where nobody can see them (royal purple stitching! cashmere flannel lining the jeans!), but when you're doing something for the masses and you have to stick with shitty materials and tiny chinamen doing the sewing, your shtick doesn't really fly. this shit looks like something i would find at a garage sale alongside a christina aguilera boxset, a rainbow whip-stitched leather cockring, a wicker cowboy hat, a box of used sarongs from ibiza, and some old maria callas posters. it looks like pooh. blegh. i wish band of outsiders had been responsible for the men's stuff.


elizabeth said...


this is me, let's be real.

you would wear that philip lim tie at teh neck shirt..c'mon now.

Anonymous said...

hey, ghurl... last year's cdfa/gap collection was much more interesting. i don't get the ass four dress. am i missing something?

tunic + cropped linen pants + lots of hammered silver jewelry = my ideal chico's woman.

-chinkee jennee

hard liquor; soft holes said...

ok, eliz, i might wear that. if it skimmed closer to the body and was cut short.

and chinkee ghurrrl, have you heard that estelle and kanye song? straight roller disco shit right thurrrrr.

Anonymous said...

Maybe you're just trying to be witty at the expense of transgenders, but really with some of the crazy shit you wear on here I wouldn't open my mouth about other people's clothing choices.