eat your canadian heart out, werbowy.

so for the last days of my vacation in the american southwest, i booked a suite at this resort that was featured in this editorial in the january issue of US vogue and since i've been voguing in all of my vacation photos anyways, i thought it'd be a SUPERB idea to recreate some of the pictures from that editorial (to the best of my meager abilities).

(all clothes stylists own)

ps. daria werbowy makes me look like a total midget.

pps. i really really wanted to do this one but my body just would not cooperate. now i know what old dudes felt like pre-cialis.

dangerous curves

i think it's safe to say that i was the only person today climbing the angel's landing wearing acne and lanvin x acne (that looks like hanes and thrift store crap (looking poor and basic costs a lot of money!)).

i think it's also safe to say that i was the only person today climbing the angel's landing that devoted his entire photo set of nature photography to porno poses.

you can take the faggot out of the city

but he's still a fuckin' faggot.

camp

hi guys! did i tell you guys i'm going on vacation? to our great nation's national parks? i'm PRETTY excited, i have to say. but what i'm most excited about is looking like the gayest hiker in all of the national park system. i'm going to sign every visitor's book with four hearts, five martini glasses, and a cartoon of some manohlos over every vowel of my name.

robert geller seconds tank / thrift camp shorts / thrift nike hat / gap backpack / thrift hiking boots

it's like if every mary from woody's on a saturday night decided that they were crunchy. i'm going to take so many pictures of me posing with rocks. like this:

one quick story before i go. i thought i lost these shorts when i dropped off my laundry the other day. i noticed they weren't with my stuff yesterday when i was packing and i seriously FREAKED OUT. like screaming and cursing like i was a crazyperson like monica in the "so gone" video. i went to the laundromat twice (last night and early this morning after my jog) and they didn't have them. i was seriously so distraught, i was thinking about posting a slideshow of my best memories of them set to:




but then i saw i had a voicemail that they found them and i creamed myself and was in a 10,000% better mood and so i'm going to post this song instead:


now i'm beyond psyched to finally get to go away! and with that little anecdote, GOOD-BYE, SUCK CITY. CYA NEVER.

park and lock

i wanted to be with you alone and talk about the weather

so i couldn't resist and bought the "apricot" version of the jil sander bluchers that the homo jonas brother and i have. they didn't have them at the store or else i would have bought them there. they only had them at barney's so i had to wait for them to go double on sale because their first markdown was only 30% or something retarded like that. but i'm PRETTY happy with them, i have to say.

they had them in white but the white seemed a little too precious for me. a little too tom wolfe by way of 2(x)ist's resort collection. not that a color described as "apricot" is not fuckin' the epitome of precious, but i'm myopic that way and can ignore contrary evidence REALLY easily. that's what makes me a good and reasonable person.

ps. image brought to you by INCEPTION. I AM PLANTING THE SEEDS OF THESE SHOES IN THE VAULT OF YOUR MIND.

pps. wasn't ellen page's hair pretty? i thought it was pretty.

alternate slut

went to a fag bar on saturday night with menblowsmoke for a hot second and realized that i looked like every other mary there in a drapy tank top and scandalous shorts (not that i plan on giving up this look any time soon, shit still looks good and my pecs are finally starting to grow in kinda). but i thought there must be another way to show off my sparkly nipples and attract lecherous male attention (but discreetly!), which is why i'm so glad that i have this see-through dries van noten number. it's this gauzy silk that you can almost see through but because of the pink color, you have to stare REALLY hard to see my areola (but, please, don't let that stop you from trying!). it's become one of my favorite things to wear this summer.

silk dries van noten shirt / tennis shorts from ebay / sambas / adam's weekender bag

i bought it at the barney's warehouse sale a couple years ago but could never figure out how to wear it. i was always trying to smarten it up and trying to button it all the way to the top but it never looked right. which is why i've decided to just give in to the loucheness and pop the buttons down to my sternum. it just FEELS right. if i'm gonna give you a (veiled) free show, i shouldn't pussy foot around it.